Why hate? | Do You Have a Jungle Princess?

I feel like I’m suffocating. Perhaps that is a poor choice of words in respect to recent events and it is meant to have zero comedic relief in it, but it is truly how I am feeling at the moment. I feel so lost and confused, embarrassed and sad, ashamed and defeated. How can this still be such a violent and ugly problem in almost 2015? Normally, living in such a remote place, it is easy to cast the troubles and tensions of the U.S. into the “not my problem” box, but I feel like I can’t ignore it anymore. My gut is wrenched and my heart is almost in pieces as people are dying daily because of… what? Police brutality? Black vs white? Thugs? No, it’s more simple than that. It’s because of hate. All because of hate.

And quite frankly, I need you to explain it to me.

I hear things like “you people” and “those people” as if all people of one race, religion or occupation subscribe to the same deplorable behavior and actions that have been wreaking havoc on our nation. I read such hate being spewed throughout my newsfeed about black people or police as a whole, choosing to forget that every person is an individual and responsible for their own actions, not those of their people. Truly you cannot believe in your heart that all police officers are killers… if so, then please know you are talking about my cousins who risk their lives every day to serve and protect, all the while having 2 little boys to come home to. And certainly you do not believe that all black people are ignorant thugs, as I have read too many times to count in various news feeds and comments. If so, then you are speaking also of the father of my daughter, my best friend and one of the most honorable men I know, whom mind you served our country as well… but he’s a thug right? It goes beyond just generalizations of white people, black people and cops. Too often people of the Islamic religion are also generalized as part of a whole, attacked undeservedly and tagged terrorists just for being Muslim. Who are we in this world of constant diversity to assume anyone is anyone other than themselves? Being a part of or from something does not make you ALL of that something.

Please do explain it to me, because I just don’t get the generalized, automatic hate. As a white mother to a beautifully mixed daughter, I can’t understand the fact that some people will hate her, just for being “half her.” What do I say to her as her white mother, that there are some people from my race that will simply hate her father’s race for no good reason? Can we not see, as a supposedly evolved people, that one person’s actions only depict their character, for better or for worse? I can’t explain it because I never conducted my life by the color of the people I interacted with. Being in a biracial relationship doesn’t mean my world is “colorless” but to the contrary it is that much more colorful. I neither fell in love with Abasi because he was black, nor would I ever NOT love him because he was black.

Recently, I re-read the saying “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” but I am beginning to think that possibly we already are. Can we not see the small patches of beauty in this world enough to want to continue to move in that direction. Towards a better future for our children, towards equality of all people: black, white, purple, gay, trans, Muslim, robot? How can a country that has seen so much destruction and hate feel compelled to fester with that instead of rise against it and show that there is such a thing as being the better person? Of moving forward. Moments like Sergent Barnum and Devonte Hart putting aside their differences in Ferguson to embrace in the presence of pain. Moments like Pakistani teenager Malala Yousafzai being the youngest recipient of the Noble Peace Prize after being injured by the Taliban and continuing to fight for human rights. Or moments just in your own, simple life such as when my daughter grabs my face and says “I wuv you Mama.” There is beauty to behold, but the blindness of hatred does not allow us all to always experience it, thus continuing to walk through a world, seemingly filled with pain and darkness.

The truth is, people are dying… on both “sides.” This isn’t about who was right, who was wrong, was he justified, etc. What I am talking about right here, right now is the bottom line hate that stirs the ignorance and fuels the fires. No matter what “side” you are on, and it is nauseating to see the depths at which some of you will blindly defend your side, no one is winning. There is no winner to be had here. Children are still becoming fatherless and parents are still mourning their children. Yes, it is true black lives matter. So do white lives and cop lives. So do gay lives and straight lives. It’s really simple… ALL LIVES MATTER.

The only side we should be on, is a united front for humanity and equality. When that day comes, then perhaps I will have the courage to look my daughter in the eye and explain that our pasts are all etched with dark times but we have risen above it and are a united, accepting people. I truly do fear, as not only a woman who does not tolerate racism nor hate but especially as a mother, that not even my daughter will ever see that day. But I can continue to pray for it. And I can continue to teach my daughter that the beauty in this world starts inside of her. That her actions to others not only have negative consequences but have the opportunities to enrich the lives of others as well. I can continue to conduct myself and my actions with tolerance (which is different than patience Abasi, thank you very much… I am working on that as well) and to choose to love instead of hate. Please do not get me wrong… I am the last person in the world to say there are not people out there that I would love to put on an island just for them, but to hate someone really only defeats yourself and darkens your own soul.

So let’s do something. Let’s start today, before the holidays, before the New Year. Not as just a resolution to work on for one year, but forever for our futures. TODAY.

Today, I vow to recommit myself to the achievement of peace. Today, I vow to refocus my prayers to the people that cannot open their hearts to others. Today, I vow to replenish my soul daily with love and acceptance instead of allowing myself to get wrapped up in petty problems or linger on negative actions. If we all take a moment to look inside ourselves then maybe, just maybe, we can rid ourselves of the blinders and begin to see the wonder that this world truly holds. Though we may feel foolish and cheated for ever living a day prior with a hand of ignorance held over our eyes, we can solidify and promise a beautiful and accepting future for our children… and what a day to look forward to that is.

Will you join me?