She stares at me from the living room floor and smiles. Lying on the ground in her diaper, watching morning cartoons, pancakes only crumbs now and my coffee needing to be refilled, Kennedy and I have our morning routine down pat. Every morning I wait for the “MAMA??” before I go and open her door to her big girl room. Rushing out and into my arms, I ask… “Did you sleep well?” “Yes mama.” “Did you dream??” “Yes, Mama!” I then proceed to ask her if she dreamt of the most ridiculous and whimsical things, and always am confirmed with a solid, YES! She did in fact dream of these things that I conjured up. Like I said, routine down pat.
And with the 3-year anniversary of our epic road trip/ move to Costa Rica, I find myself in awe at how different life actually is from what we were expecting back then. Freshly engaged and high on the idea of driving through Central America with our 2 dogs, Bentley and Gemini, we couldn’t even fathom the life of bottles, diapers, day care, butt rashes and so forth. Abasi and I were pumped to go run our bar with our partners, party like there was no tomorrow and truly embrace living in another country. But what is it that they say… Life is what happens when you start making plans?
Well, I for one would like to thank life. We were wrong and you were SOO right.
It’s no secret that Kennedy is a perfectly unplanned blessing. I joke all the time about drinking tequila and wishing something into the wind, as I did when I told my sister-in-law, Niki, that I hoped our kids wouldn’t be “too far apart in age” as she held her newborn son. Well, wish came true because I unbeknownst to me I was already pregnant. So again… DO NOT DRINK TEQUILA AND MAKE WISHES INTO THE WIND… unless you want life to get awesome and crazy, then do it now.
When I found out… At 3 MONTHS… that I was pregnant, I was shocked. Scared. Shocked. Sad. Happy. Shocked. You get the point. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t the right time, we didn’t even have permanent housing yet. But we figured it out. Because we had too, and sometimes you need that little shove in the right direction.
As I would find out, our true destiny in moving to Puerto Viejo was not to run a bar but to become parents. I truly believe with every fiber of my being that I was meant to become a mom here. Kennedy was meant to be born here and start our adventure. Without a doubt. I had the easiest, healthiest pregnancy. I ate delicious, fresh fruits and walked or rode my bike everywhere. I felt great pregnant. And to top it off, I had the easiest, calmest delivery known to man. Start to finish, 45 minutes… I mean C’MON!!! What else could I have asked for? But that was all just the beginning, and now we’re on this adventure that I never expected but could never, and mean never, comprehend not having.
Raising Kennedy in Costa Rica, with her best friend and older-by-7-months cousin Kai, is beautiful to watch because it’s so different than the normal experiences I hear about. I’m humbled watching her grow because I know I never would have chosen this for her, yet thankfully something divine knew the direction our life would take and give this to her anyway. As I type this, I am asking her to go watch TV or play with her toys so I can concentrate, but she is insisting we go outside instead. And yesterday she wanted to go surfing. Who is this kid, and how did we get so lucky? She eats exotic foods and flavors, speaks Spanish and English, craves the ocean, sings her heart out and prefers climbing “like a mono (monkey)” then playing with toys. She rides a stick horse around, clicking her tongue to mimic the sound of hooves. Growing up in Costa Rica has brought out the most organic parts of being a kid and she isn’t overwhelmed or over-stimulated by toys, lights, beeping, etc. And trust me, I ain’t judging any other way, because like I’ve said… this was never our plan, just our destiny.
And while Kennedy is the main diversion from our original plans, other things have come and gone in 3 years that we never foresaw. For starters, we have lived in 5… yes FIVE… different houses in 3 years. Finally, we are in a home that we know we have long term, but the continuous stress of moving a family with a baby and 2 dogs, the uncertainty of having a living arrangement to fit our needs, was never on our radar back then. The feeling of not being rooted was at times overwhelming and induced bouts of homesickness. It was rough, but it tested our faith and our relationship, and each time we made it out on the other side. And maybe coincidentally or maybe as a divine reward, each time the house was that much better for our family.
As for family, one of the bigger surprises was having my brother Brandon move with us almost a year ago. Brandon knew he needed a change, we wanted Brandon to experience new things and thankfully everyone was prepared for the adjustment. It has been one hell of an experience, reuniting with my brother after not having lived near each other for almost 9 years. There have definitely been ups and downs and obstacles to understanding each other, but we’re finally starting to get the hang of the whole brother-sister friendship thing and I have to say… I don’t hate it.
Clearly, not all changes have been for the better. Losing Gemini last week was devastating. I felt like I had lost a life long friend because even though she was “only a dog” she was 1 of 4 breathing souls that understood our journey to here. And now she’s gone and though she was getting older, I really truly never expected to bury her here. But again, literally as I type I realize, maybe that is for the better. We won’t always live in Puerto Viejo. There will be a day when we move on, but a part of our hearts and our family will always be here. And we buried her in a remote beach area with a coconut and the hopes that a tree will sprout through the burial site and she can be a part of the continuous circle of life. Gemini will always be here, so we will always be here, in one way or another.
And there it is. 3 years of twists and turns. Ups and downs. Uncertainty and growth, changes and surprises. I had no idea when we finally pulled out of our drive way in South Carolina to begin our trek, that it would lead us to this point in life. To parenthood, to losing Gemini, to gaining a friendship with my brother. For every diaper I didn’t expect to change, I gained a kiss from my daughter. And for every shot of tequila I can’t take late night at the bar, I gained an “I love you Mama.” Life happened. We adapted. We grew. We found real love.
Life happened exactly how we didn’t expect it to… and we gained a family. I couldn’t have planned it better myself.
Do You Have a Jungle Princess? 